When You Don’t Get Hired

It’s okay to be told no. Really.

There are times when I thought I absolutely nailed a consultation but didn’t get hired. I connected well with the potential client, shared some initial ideas and I was in their price range. What happened?

When a client doesn’t choose you, it can be very frustrating and even painful to experience.

It’s easy to slip into the mindset of feeling like a failure, feeling like you did something wrong, feeling like a fraud and feeling just plain crappy that you didn’t get the gig.

After hundreds of consultations, I still experience frustration when I don’t book an event I really want. However, with that much experience, I also have perspective. To get past that pain quickly, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this potential client would have been a nightmare to work with or maybe they really were a better fit with another planner. Or maybe there is another event on the same day and the inquiry for that event is right around the corner.

We can’t possibly know what went through their mind or why they chose to book the competition. So why waste precious time and energy analyzing it? Unless they tell us why they chose someone else (which is a question you can ask), let it go and get prepared for the next inquiry.

The hard part of any business is that you win some and you lose some. Next time, you WILL get the client. And when you do, celebrate it but don’t analyze it too much.

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Amanda - Amanda Douglas Events says:

November 20, 2013 at 10:35 am

Oh so true!

I still get a bit bummed when I don’t get a wedding but I remind myself that I will get the brides that I am supposed to have.

Thanks for the post!
- Planner's Lounge - Debbie says:
  
  November 21, 2013 at 8:13 am
  
  Thanks for the comment Amanda. I am a firm believer that we always end up with the right brides for us.
Plan My Day Weddings & Events says:

February 4, 2013 at 2:01 pm

Oddly comforting to know this happens to everyone at some point. You just have to accept it and move on. In business and in life you just can dwell on the negative, it consumes you and you starting doubting.

Keep pressing on beauties!
- Debbie says:
  
  February 4, 2013 at 2:52 pm
  
  Thank you for commenting!
Stacey Flynch (@InTouchEvents) says:

February 2, 2013 at 2:16 pm

It definitely can be disappointing, but as you said everything happens for a reason. It could have been a relationship with a client that ended sour. There is a planner for every client. Personalities meshing and the way both handle business has to work for cohesive positive relationship. Just like a job interview sometimes client’s can be on their best behavior, but once the deal is sealed with a contract, a whole new client emerges. Some times a “no” is a blessing in disguise.
Courtney Fontenot says:

January 26, 2013 at 8:55 am

Thanks for this timely post. I wasn’t chosen by a client that I thought I really clicked with. They went with a recommendation of a family friend. I was bummed until a month later I booked a bride for planning with a better budget, clearer vision, and that trusts me to lead her in the right decisions. You were right, everything happens for a reason. Thanks again.
- Debbie says:
  
  January 26, 2013 at 1:58 pm
  
  Thank you for sharing your experience Courtney. This is so helpful for all of us. I appreciate you being part of our community here!
Roxanne says:

January 24, 2013 at 12:45 pm

This is a great article. A reminder from other industry professionals is a great way to be reminded not to take it personally and to take it with a grain of salt. When one door closes, another one opens! Thanks Debbie!
- Debbie says:
  
  January 24, 2013 at 1:04 pm
  
  Thank you for commenting Roxanne!
Candice says:

January 17, 2013 at 8:04 am

Thanks Debbie for the wonderful advice … It feels good to know that i am on the same boat as everyone else so must be doing something right …. Keep up the wonderful inspiration 🙂
- Debbie says:
  
  January 17, 2013 at 8:29 am
  
  Thank you Candice! And thank you for inspiring me to write this post. I appreciate you being part of the community here!
Jean says:

January 16, 2013 at 5:09 pm

I definitely agree with the “everything happens for a reason” way of thinking. Through the years I’ve had some instances where the initial meeting went great and the brides expressed great interest in hiring me — A couple even received phone calls during the meeting and told the caller that she couldn’t talk right then because sh’es meeting with her planner — but in the end they didn’t hire me. It is what it is, and there is nothing that can be solved by dwelling on what didn’t happen.
- Debbie says:
  
  January 17, 2013 at 7:39 am
  
  So true Jean. It’s easy to dwell on it but we need to move on quickly and be ready for the next consultation. Thanks for taking time to comment!
Lorraine says:

January 16, 2013 at 11:01 am

Great post Debbie! I always tell myself exactly the same thing that “everything happens for a reason.” You’re absolutely right about that! Thanks for the reassurance and for your awesome blog!
- Debbie says:
  
  January 16, 2013 at 11:18 am
  
  Thank you Lorraine! I appreciate you being part of the community here!
Kathy Kepler says:

January 16, 2013 at 8:41 am

I recently had a consultation with a bride and thought it went very well and I was going to get hired. She called me after the new year to tell me that she really liked me, I was her # 1 planner to select; however, due to finances, they were not going to use a wedding planner. I of course was very disappointed, however, I know that I did not over-estimate on my proposal for my services.
- Debbie says:
  
  January 16, 2013 at 8:49 am
  
  Thanks for sharing Kathy. That is frustrating too but glad she shared her reasons.