Love…it’s exciting and scary all at once. Some people spend the rest of their lives with their first love and others spend years looking for the right one. Regardless of how a person ends up with their husband or wife, the important thing is that they are certain this is the one person they’re committed to being with forever and the one they want by their side through all of the ups and downs. As wedding planners, we see many emotions over the course of planning a wedding, from the bride and groom, to the wedding party, to the parents of the wedding couple. In the end, all of the little disagreements and eye rolling usually fade away as the two come together to say their vows. However, what happens if a couple comes to us during the planning process and decides that they are unsure the wedding should go on? How do we provide advice while not swaying them one way or the other? We also need to make sure we do our best to protect the vendors and any contracts that the couple is already committed to.

Cold feet…it happens. Sometimes over the course of a relationship, as we all know, feelings change and circumstances arise that can make one or two people question the future. While we most definitely want the couple to work things out, it is important to remember that we are not marriage counselors and should not pretend to be. There may come a point where the bride or groom comes to you for your expertise, but you will need to advise them to speak to one another or someone who can provide counseling on this topic. If this situation arises, there are bound to be many phone calls and emails coming to you about contracts, refunds, date changes, etc. As soon as you are informed that there is a cancellation or delay in the wedding events, take out any agreements that were signed already and go over them so you are able to answer questions as they come.

Most vendors require a deposit to hold an event date. The bride and groom will likely want to know if this is refundable or if they will owe anything if they wait to decide if they will cancel or not. This is where knowing the vendors that you work with will come in handy because you may be able to help negotiate for the couple. Still, remember you should honor the business relationship you have with the vendors. If the bride and groom wait to inform the vendors they will no longer need their services, that vendor may have now missed out on another event date where they could have booked clients. In addition to alerting the vendors that the wedding events are being postponed or cancelled, the bridal party, family, and other guests should be informed as well. Sit down with the couple and decide the best way to handle this situation. They may not want hundreds of questions coming to them, which may be unavoidable, but what they are going through also does not have to be broadcast either. Help them divide up who will call who, send emails, or regular mail. It’s important to inform people before they hear any news from others.

While this is a situation we all hope we and the bride and groom are never in, it could happen and it is important to be prepared for all situations. It may even be beneficial to have recommendations of counselors or reading material to give the couple if this situation happens. Continue to make sure the bride and groom know you are there to assist them with all wedding items that come up, but when it comes to their relationship, only they can make that decision for themselves. For more helpful tips on staying prepared if a bride or groom cancels a weddings refer to these articles from the Knot and from Huffington Post.

As a wedding planner, be sure your contract clearly explains what happens to your fee and services when a couple cancels the wedding. For more help, see our post on cancelled weddings.

This is a guest post from Christine Bochniak. Christine resides in Galena, IL where she works as an Author Account Manager for Kendall Hunt Publishing. She also works as a wedding coordinator part-time for her own business Rise Events Planning.

photo credit: Jason+Gina