The Emotional Cost of Being a Wedding Planner

Weddings are emotional experiences for everyone involved. The couples, their families, their guests…but most people don’t consider the emotional cost a wedding takes on the wedding professionals that bring it to life! We are in the business of hospitality, and a fundamental expectation in the industry is to go above and beyond expectations to please our clients.

But that notion doesn’t factor in the reality that we are entrepreneurs too. Running a successful wedding business while adhering to the demands of our clients is no simple feat. For many, it can even lead to overworking yourself and eventually succumbing to burnout. But, of course, you can’t keep your clients happy when you’re burnt out — so taking care of yourself isn’t just good for your wellbeing; it’s vital for your business’ health as well.

It’s not just about the workload, either. Wedding planners are expected to serve all the roles, even as unofficial therapists. It’s a lot of pressure for our clients to carry, but there’s no reason for you to be an emotional punching bag.

We got into this business to bring joy and happiness to people’s lives, so it can be downright devastating when we can’t fulfill that responsibility. It hurts to know you haven’t measured up to expectations, even if they were unrealistic to start!

Ever find yourself wondering, “why do I do this to myself?” If so, you’re not alone! Wedding planning is a tough gig, especially when you’re the entrepreneur with everything on the line.

Why is wedding planning such an emotional career?

Even if you’re the best planner in the world, it’s hard to separate your personal emotions from the experiences we have with our clients. It is an immense amount of responsibility and pressure in your hands. People are handing over the reins to the biggest moments of their lives, with the expectation that you will pull it off flawlessly.

But, here’s the thing: We’re human, and we make mistakes.

Sometimes we face the brunt of a client’s reaction — even if we’re not directly responsible. I’ve been on the receiving end of a verbal lashing from a client’s mom for not handing out favors that were never mentioned over the many meetings we had discussed their wedding! To our clients, it doesn’t matter if something is our “fault” — we are still responsible in their eyes.

The 3-step process for overcoming emotions in wedding planning

I’ve encountered numerous situations that have made me boil with anger or want to burst out in tears — but, as a wedding planner business owner, you can’t just have a tantrum because you feel like it. I follow a three-step process that ensures professionalism while still giving me time to care for myself.

Step 1: Grin and bear it.

To be fair, this step stinks, but your reputation depends on it. Put on your big kid pants and kill them with kindness! It takes grit and conviction to face a screaming mother or drunk bride with cool composure, and that’s exactly what you have to do. Let them have their moment, tolerate it, and do what you need to ease the tensions. (Of course, this doesn’t excuse abuse or harassment — you have the right to step away from those situations.)

Step 2: Sort out your emotions.

Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings and process your experience away from public view. Scream at the top of your lungs on the drive home, or pick up your favorite snack to cry over when you get home. Acknowledge that your feelings are hurt. You are only human, and suppressing your emotions won’t do anyone any good.

Step 3: Revisit the situation with a level head.

Once you’ve got the emotions out and feel calm again, look at the experience from a rational perspective. Was it your fault? If so, how can you prevent it from happening again? If not, what can you learn from it? Everything is a learning lesson if you take it to heart, so turn that negative moment into an opportunity to grow.

Once you’ve worked through your emotions, give yourself the space to pause and move past the stress and grief of the experience. Find a way to separate your self-worth from your client-facing challenges. It might be a hobby that gets you out of your headspace or a support system of loved ones who are there to listen and lift you.

Every wedding planner needs to realize that anything that goes wrong will be your fault from your clients’ perspective. But, on the flip side, so will everything that goes right!

This is a sponsored guest post from Leah Weinberg, author of The Wedding Rollercoaster and owner of Color Pop Events. She uses real-world experience, incredible stories, and her natural relationship-building skills to help you navigate the ups and downs of wedding planning in her new book, The Wedding Rollercoaster. Her approach in this book and her planning style are the same: systematic and organized, yet compassionate and empathetic. You will feel like you are getting the skinny from a friend, not like you are being preached to or judged.

Get your copy of The Wedding Rollercoaster today