She wants her best friend to design the flowers and her aunt to make the cake. They expect their wedding to look like a professional put it together, but they push you to use non-professionals vendors.

How do you regain control of the process?

What are the steps to achieve a realistic consensus?

What do you do when they insist on using non-pros?

Who’s the boss?

Is it the couple? They hired you. Is it the parents? They paid for your service. Is it the venue? They have their own set of rules. Or is it you…the wedding planner?

In an ideal scenario, there would only be one person in charge. But as a wedding planner, we all know better. You are hired as your client’s advocate. You act on behalf of your wedding couples. You try to see all sides and make decisions based on what your clients would want without alienating all parties involved.

How do you gain a consensus?

Even though we’ve moved away from the term wedding consultant and towards terms like wedding planner or wedding director, the term consultant is an accurate job description. Consultant means to be an adviser, expert, specialist, or authority.

To get buy-in from all parties on wedding decisions, you often work as the neutral third party. You keep the peace and make sure everyone gets what they want.

Tips to get everyone on the same page:

• Remove emotion from your conversations.

• Say yes… “Yes, we can hire a trapeze artist for your reception. We will need to take out additional insurance, create a buildout for the ceiling as not to damage the existing structure, and rent additional space at the venue. This total cost will be about $10,000. Is this still something you would like to pursue?”

• Use language that inspires empathy. To the caterer, “Yes, I do understand why setting up a made to order coal brick pizza station at the reception is unusual and can pose some problems but it’s important to the couple. The couple met at a neighborhood pizzeria and in this case, the pizza has sentimental meaning. If this is outside of your realm I can look into hiring a traveling pizzeria”.

What to do when they insist on hiring non-pros?

• Let them know you cannot guarantee the wedding pros work if you have never worked with them before. Have the couples sign off on the fact that they understand this. Confirm every vendor prior to the wedding, especially the non-professional vendors.

• Give them options that are within their price range for the non-pro service that was to be provided. Ask what their concerns are with the professionals you recommended.

• Convince them that they hired you as the planner for your experience and experience.

At the end of the wedding, you will be celebrated or blamed for how everything came together. Do your best when working with difficult vendors and challenging wedding clients. Remember that you are not a magician!

This is a sponsored guest post from Wedding MBA.

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